Celebrity Presidential Debate 3: Vivacious in Vegas


DP: I’m ready for a history of the Debate Commission! Let’s get those old white dudes up there!

DP: Hillary is in the house!


DP: Here we go! The ACTION!

DP: This debate finally came out west. To…..LAS VEGAS! This debate commission should be introduced by Don King. And then Hillary should bite off Trump’s ear during the bout.

DP: Yes, this debate is supported by Facebook!…a board members of which just gave $1.25 million to Trump!! (Arch villain Peter Thiel)

DP: Advertisement for UNLV…



DP: Gotta drink up for the long ass intros of wannabes and neverwases.


DP: Chris Wallace doing hand waving. “Please, blessed science.” Chris begs the drone audience.
For pre-debate reference:


DP: Hillary is way up in the polls.

DP:He we go!


DP: Behind lecterns

DP: Hillary: do not reverse Roe v. Wade! Not surprisingly, Hillary is pro-choice.

DP: Trump: The Supreme Court- it what’s it all about. That should be the SCOTUS motto.

TIG: I love that for Trump it’s all about personal relationships with the Supreme Court

DP: Trump, thus far is subdued.

TIG: Trump seems restrained now. I was half expecting him to come out and start hitting things.

DP: “It’s all about the constitution!” He’s contradicting himself!! I thought it was all about SCOTUS! Sad!

TIG: The gun issue is pointless now. One of the top questions were about guns? Who was undecided against guns? I love the personal attack, “She was very upset…”

DP: Hillary is smart to bring up total gun deaths.


DP: Candy time.


DP: I have a genie. Candy…TO THE SKY!!

DP: This gun discussion is boring.

TIG: The individual states.  COPOUT

DP: “Sniff”

TIG: I want to know more about their opinion on candy. Why aren’t they personally attacking each other?

DP: “Do you support an amendment that protects candy consumption??”

DP: Hillary wins this abortion argument because Trump totally copped out, as you said.

TIG: Tough but fair questions about abortions, I suppose. But, again, who doesn’t know where they stand about abortion?

DP: …I will be honest…that was only half my candy…


TIG: More about candy. Halloween is coming up…We need to know

TIG: “Hillary can say it’s okay, but it’s not okay.” Wait a beat for applause, then go on…

TIG: That’s something I could vote for!

DP: “If I am elected- every man will be able to grab as much candy as he wants. I will tell you- lifesavers would not be my first choice.”

DP: Trump: “you can rip the baby out of the womb on the last day!”


TIG: She’s going to have to bait him.

DP: …do it. Drink.

TIG: Oh, I am. Trump may want to keep the drugs out of our country, but I want them in my body

DP: If nothing of note happens in this debate, Hillary wins.

TIG: “All of the drug lords—All of the bad ones…” But leave the good drug lords

TIG: You think? I think Hillary has everything to lose.

DP: Trump is just too far behind. I feel like neutral goes to the leader.

DP: Trump: I’m a teetotaling billionaire! I have so much in common with him.

TIG: He’s still snorting and sipping. Robo-Rubio style

DP: His robo-Rubio game is tremendous.


TIG: She sounds like she’s repeating recorded lines. Which she is, but Trump interrupting here helps her out

DP: Her outfit looks vaguely Imperial. (Galactic)

TIG: I was thinking a little dystopian future

DP: Oh yeah. She could be the president in The Hunger Games.

TIG: “Worst deal of any kind of any time…”

TIG: Wait, Hillary, wanted the wall? This is an absurdity…

DP: “He choked!” That was great

TIG: Good. She’s going on the attack…

DP: Trump is so great just totally lying.

TIG: Weird, that Trump goes on with, “Obama kicked out a lot of people…” So now he wasn’t a total disaster?

DP: Trump has very little framework to fall back on, it seems. Just blurts shit out that he thinks sounds good in the moment. Saying “Big league” is great. He’s saying it over and over.

TIG: She was waiting to get the Wikilink Russian connection in there.

TIG: “To influence our election. SO I actually think the most important question…” Let me pause…


DP: Drone audience must have been hacked…they laughed outrageously.

TIG: Now she’s asking Trump to answer…I just heard the laugh. “This is going to get out of control!”

DP: Hillary directly asking Trump is great.

TIG: Puppet as president!

DP: That muted laugh riled the hell out of Chris Wallace

TIG: “No, you’re the puppet!” This is the best. His response was like a child


DP: “You’re the puppet!!” I cackled so much! He sounded so awful there! C’mon Trump…lose it…Go crazy!

TIG: “He”d rather trust Putin than our security services…”


TIG: He looks like such a patsy…”I don’t know Putin…He’s not my best friend. But if we got along…”

DP: Trump looks weak here. Losing his grip. Yelling and carrying-on. “Wrong.”


DP: He NOSE what’s up…

TIG: Him interrupting all the time makes him look bad. She needs to keep baiting him…

TIG: Wallace isn’t doing too bad about this. I think his inflections tend to be a little biased, “You want big government…”

DP: I would agree. So far Chris Wallace is doing better than Lester.

TIG: Well, Lester will be able to use the debate as his big comedy springboard


DP: Lester’s HBO stand up special is going to break the Internet.

TIG: “When the middle class thrives, America thrives…” She loves that line

DP: Trumped up trickle down!

TIG: She sidestepped that, “Trickle down economics on steroids!”


TIG: Man, this sucks. Why don’t I have candy?

DP: Jealous???

TIG: “We’re gonna do a lot of things with college tuition.” Well, that covers it.

DP: Yes, goes right back to shredding treaties.

TIG: Wait–What, he’s saying that now everyone is paying us? Now our debt is going up at the same time? What the hell is going on?

DP: Trump…made NATO pay us? Whut??

DP: “Obama’s regime”

DP: Now that I’m unemployed for four days- I don’t have health insurance. Time to get drunk and eat candy for dinner.

TIG: The recession stuff…Not interesting

DP: It’s such old news. Trump interrupting doesn’t play well for him.

TIG: More attacking each other! Whoa! Trump is saying that we can catch up with India’s economy? One can hope…


DP: She’s so excited to come home to find me drunk, in my underwear, shouting at the TV!

TIG: Hillary obviously knows what she’s talking about, but Trump is pretty good about being folksy


TIG: I can read the excitement!

TIG: She needs to let up a little bit…


TIG: “Excuse me…My turn.”

DP: “Crocodile tears”

TIG: Him just admitting that he uses illegal steel and saying, “why don’t you stop me?” is fucking absurd

DP: Hillary wants a trade prosecutor? That’s interesting.

DP: “I wouldn’t mind.”

DP: Hillary hitting her experience.

DP: “Give me a break.”

DP: Comparing the UBL command center to Celebrity Apprentice was pretty good.

TIG: Yeah, that’s strong. He’s being measured. She needs to bait him more.

TIG: Fitness for president is going to be great…HUGE

DP: Trump is tremendous on fitness.

TIG: These stories were not debunked….

DP: “I don’t know those people.” He hosted shows with those girls…

TIG: I love blaming Hillary for these women coming up and accusing him of sexual assault. It’s always a conspiracy.

DP: “I didn’t apologize to my wife.”

DP: What is he talking about inciting riots???

TIG: That Republican guy that went into Acorn and cut together a misleading. Video did the same thing at a Trump rally. Nobody in the LAMEstream media takes it seriously since the guy has been thoroughly discredited.

DP: Great bait. “She wouldn’t be my first choice.”

TIG: That was a natural subject change to the emails

DP: “Nobody has more respect for women than I do.” That is great because it’s so goddamn insincere. Total natural pivot.

DP: “Sniff”

TIG: WRONG. He never made fun of a handicapped reporter? What is he doing?


DP: That MSM’er had it coming.

DP: Earlier Trump’s campaign manager said, “Trump has s five point plan to defeat Islam.” So great. Defeat the religion. “So sad!”

TIG: I can’t wait to see what the. Secret plan. Is

DP: We are going to hit ISIS and hit them hard. I have 200 generals that I will ignore to bomb ISIS.

TIG: Clinton Foundation. BORING


DP: Haiti hates the Clintons! Everyone knows it!

TIG: Hummus is a poor substitute for candy.

DP: Hummus! SAD! Hummus is, by far, the weakest snack on stage tonight.

TIG: “100% goes to different charities…Including military.” What the fuck does that mean?

TIG: It’s weak…WEAK folks

DP: We put up the American flag.

DP: Hillary had a slam dunk on the tax return comment.

TIG: I don’t get the, “Because of people like her pass laws…” That he’s going to exploit. “I’m doing terrible things, and she won’t even stop me! Vote for me!”

DP: It is a weak position, but it’s all he has many times.

DP: “My hotels are beautiful.” He’s so beyond full of himself. It’s amazing.

TIG: Oh shit, that’s crazy that he won’t back Pence and will not commit to accepting the results of the election

DP: Jesus! That’s outrageous. How can Pence back this guy!? Sad!

DP: “She shouldn’t be allowed to run! It’s rigged!”

DP: “That’s…horrifying.”

TIG: She should be saying, “a conspiracy” instead of, “rigged,” as it sounds more crazy.

DP: Trump is just asking questions!!

TIG: The drones are revolting!


DP: Clamp down on them!! Engage the destruction collars!

TIG: They’ve become self aware!

TIG: What could possibly be the SOURCE of this malfunction???

DP: …you don’t think…Could he be back!?


TIG: Where has he been? I haven’t seen the Phantom of the Source in a long time…

TIG: People are saying he’s been planning something…


DP: I heard Bernie is talking about teaming with The Phantom of The Source to man Drone Nuke Subs to counter Putin’s nuke and cyber threat.

TIG: Mosul’s so sad!

Qmusing: This Mosul discussion in very nuanced and accurate by Trump

DP: Like all his discussions!

TIG: Much, Much tougher than they thought

DP: Trump had a seance and talked with Patton and MacArthur

TIG: Man, he can say, “Wrong,” so that must makes him. Right…

DP: “Wrong.”

Q: Whatever happened to the element of surprise? Better to have all the civilians there to bomb to win the hearts and minds.


DP: Hillary has ZERO international experience. I trust Trump.

DP: “You know wiki-leaks…”

TIG: Whoa, Trump is interrupting the question… “Aleppo is a disaster!” That clears everything up.

TIG: Madonna promises oral sex to Hillary voters- http://www.avclub.com/article/madonna-promises-oral-sex-hillary-clinton-voters-244487?utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=feeds

DP: Madonna proved once again why she’s still the queen.

DP: “Assad is smarter than Hillary and Obama.” That’s so insulting to our military and intelligence services.

TIG: What the hell is Trump saying? We need to be tougher on some people, less tough on others, just based on whatever is convenient at the time?

DP: His sentence structure is abhorrent.

DP: “The migrants are definitely, in many cases, terrorists.”

Qmusing: I don’t think this plays well to anyone other than his nutso supporters

DP: Trump just sort of ceded the election, “good luck with that, Hillary.”



DP: Trump’s eyes…they…are mesmerizing…

TIG: His eyes are like pure black.


DP: All this candy and beer is making me feel so great.

DP: “I disagree with Reagan.” Ouch! “I’m cutting taxes. It’s going to help entitlements.” Huh?


TIG: You know what else Obamacare is destroying? DP’s stomach. Thanks Obama!

TIG: Such a nasty one. Really, she clearly knows a lot more than him. But he’s not going nuts

DP: I think he said, “such a nasty woman.” He went a little nuts earlier.

TIG: She’s edging a little too close to the teacher’s pet. Which isn’t a bad thing, in general, but this is a pageant

TIG: A little bit. We’ll have to see how the spin goes.

DP: She clearly won this.

TIG: I think so. But I’m also sane.

DP: She did better than the last one, and he did worse. And it was pretty unanimous she won the last won.

DP: I love how Chris Wallace tried to trip them up, “I know you aren’t prepared! But talk about yourself for one minute!”

DP: Trump won over no one here.

TIG: Our women are disrespected…Well done Trump. Want to underline that



DP: “I will do more for African Americans than she could for ten lifetimes!”

TIG: I don’t know. I may vote Trump now. I received brain damage from lack of candy during this debate.

DP: First thing, Wolf, “let’s see if they shake hands!”


DP: Big news right out the gate.

TIG: First thing on NPR, she knocked it out of the park, he seems to improved, but the headline is going to be that Trump may not support the winner.

TIG: Yeah, that’s kind of a huge deal.

TIG: I like the old codger on NPR, “How many times are we going to ‘grow the economy?’ Is that a phrase that’s finally reached its expiration date?”

DP: He did say “nasty woman”. Such a poor choice of words.

TIG: Who doesn’t like nasty women after all?

DP: Van Jones, “You can’t polish this turd.”

Process: Caught the last bit of the debate. No idea what happened but the recap is saying Trump fucked up. Van Jones is like, my hero, seriously.

DP: Love Van.

TIG: He’s the best on there.

DP: This analysis on CNN is amazing. The Trump surrogate on the panel is so dumb.

TIG: I’m waiting for some post analysis.

DP: Everyone thinks Chris Wallace did great. I kinda agree. One of the best moderators. Going in I was skeptical, but his performance was solid.

TIG: Yeah, he was really good. I think that Van Jones should have done one

DP: Van, “Mr. Trump, you’re the worst human ever. Why are you so terrible?”

TIG: Van: “Hillary. Your numbers are surging, the country is falling behind you. Of course, a disgusting excuse for a human being is running as a fascist on the opposite ticket. How do you keep your message so fresh and powerful when running against someone like that?”

DP: Asking how someone stays “fresh” is such a great softball.

DP: Van, seriously, just quoted LL Cool J. “He lies about the lies he lies about.”

TIG: That’s not an unreasonable description. Of Trump


DP: “Trump was imitating Alec Baldwin.”

DP: Van, “I’m a bit of a nerd, but I like numbers.” Then quotes a bunch of facts. Van rulz.

DP: Then he quoted LL again, “Hillary gonna knock you out!”

TIG: Well, it sort of works… Ladies Love Hillary


DP: Winner’s pose.

TIG: She seems good…But we never know

Process: I’m voting Van Jones. He should seriously run.

DP: He’d stand on stage, “I’m kind of a nerd, I like numbers…I’ve always liked 9…inches…” Then pull out his giant Van Jones dick.

TIG: What if Trump does try to rally his supporters in some kind of Mussolini-style march on DC?

TIG: These are some glorious Weimar days, brothers

Process: Si Si Si Si

Process: Certainly feels like it

DP: Everyone is bringing up “bad hombres”

Qmusing: So classic that the talk after the debate is that trump was good except for his disqualifying comment. Such classic soft take. He was a mess the whole time

Process: Wrong Qmusing

DP: *sniff

Process: Quinn is such a nasty man


DP: Van had such a terrible call, “Trump should get a patent on a ‘self-kicking machine.'” Sounds like a Hillary-ism

Qmusing: By the way, lots of facts on this webpage advertised on Barbour blvd: nomorefailedrail.com

After 30 years of light rail construction, there must be some “success stories”. What light rail stations can we expect TriMet to emulate if a Tigard-Tualatin line is built?

Answer: There are no light rail success stories anywhere in the country. The results are always the same: noisy rail stations that most people don’t want to live near; high-density development projects that require public subsidies; deliberately-induced shortages of parking that degrades the quality of life for people living in nearby neighborhoods; forecasts of high ridership that turn out to be false; and a degradation of bus service which currently carries more than 65% of all TriMet riders. In some cases, such as Rockwood in Gresham, light rail brought with it so much crime that key retailers (Fred Meyer) closed up and moved away.


TIG: The false equivielancy drives me nuts. “Trump is threatening to undermine a crucial pillar of the republic, sure. But what about those emails where some people on Hillary’s campaign considered saying mean things about Bernie in some ads before deciding about not doing so? Isn’t that really just as bad?”

QMusing: Such extreme position, light rail has failed everywhere! Very trump like.

TIG: Everyone in Portland hates the MAX

DP: Light rail brings terrible crime. It will take Portland’s “black problem” to Vancouver.

Process: I hate that fucking anti rail shit. I’d kill for light rail down barbur

Process: Hahaha

DP: Burbank was a great city once. Now it’s rife with criminals, rapists, because of the train.

DP: I ALWAYS wanted MAX down barber. I always thought SW was sort of ignored for that stuff.

Process: The best is Milwaukie forces us not to call their transit center a transit center because it implies a low income criminal hub

Process: They actually voted on it and forced us not to call it Milwaukie TC

Process: Light rail down barbur would be so nice

TIG: “Milwaukie Median Location Hub in Which to Move Items and People, doors on your left.”

Process: High Income Exclusionary Zone, brown people not welcome, Puertes amiereche

DP: “Puertes a mi dereche” is so burned into my brain

DP: When I was 25, I had spent more time on Tri-met than I had driving. It enabled me to take my crime ALL OVER Washington county. Into all those nice white neighborhoods.

Process: You made it the pain train

DP: And you work for them? Such a nasty bus driver. If you were any other driver, the FBI would have indicted you!

Process: Sounds like you’re such a nasty text messenger. The fact that you’re even allowed to text shows how rigged technology is


TIG: Interrupting to say, “WRONG” is a power move. Did Jeb! Ever do it? I don’t think so…


Process: Please clap

TIG: This wireless keyboard affects some of the grammar and stuff somehow to my ipad. Thus the incorrect capitalization after Jeb!’s name

DP: Jeb! was by FAR the weakest candidate. He was polling at less than 1%. Worse than Lindsay Graham. Sad!

TIG: Can you believe there was a time when he was considered a contender?


Process: I remember thinking this was definitely going to be Bernie/Hillary vs. Jeb! so much crazy shit has happened since then

DP: Trump = MAGA

DP: I think the government should shut down business taxes, and shut down that whole woman’s choice thing.

Process: I think that’s the only “choice” there is

TIG: The only choice:


  1 comment for “Celebrity Presidential Debate 3: Vivacious in Vegas

  1. Samalander
    November 15, 2016 at 5:49 pm

    America is Great again!

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