Democratic Debates: To Catch a President

DP: Oh fuck yes.  Free maple bar.

Qmusing: I’m at a Mariott too.  Gonna read me some of the Book of Mormon.  Get my Jesus visited other shores on.

TIG: I’m about ready to go to South Dakota.  Staying at the nicest place in the area costs as much as a Motel 6 anywhere else.  Alright, let’s do this.  What a bombastic opening from CNN

DP: They make it look so dramatic.  Yes, the internet froze up.

TIG: Oh Anderson, you look so smart with those glasses.  You should thank Perry for that sweet tip.

DP: These guys are such big names.  Lincoln Chaffee is a HOUSEHOLD name.

I also like this Webb guy.  Not charismatic at all.

I wish this debate was in 3D.

Bernie is the shit, though I don’t know about this whole, “fossil fuels” thing.

TIG: Two former Republicans.  The non-Bernie and non-Hillary are pillars of charisma, though solid choices to beat Republicans…by electing Republicans.

Goddamn it, everything froze up on me.

DP: Chaffee and Webb look weak by comparison.  Bernie comes off as completely honest and believes what he says.  Hillary is doing very well.  Very confident.

TIG: Goddamn this still won’t load.  Though CNN thinks I’ll be very interested in informing me all about what Playboy is up to, with helpful pictures.

Motherfucker, I’m voting for whoever is going to hurt Comcast and Time-Warner the most.


DP: That would be such an awesome question, “Millions of Americans suffer at the hands of Comcast.  What will you do to end this war against American civilians?

Wait.  There’s a fifth guy up there.

Process: I hope Bernie does well.  I wish I could watch, but I’m at work.

TIG: That says it all.

DP: Vanilla Ice just backed Bernie on Twitter.

Process: Game, set, match.

DP: Chaffee reminds of of Rubio.  His inflection, pacing, etc.

TIG: He’s too fast…too furious

DP: I think I meant O’Malley. I got no clue who these guys are.

TIG: Is that Webb that keeps butting in?

DP: Yeah?  The guy on the left.

TIG: You’ve got my vote!

TIG: O’Malley is nowheresville.  I thought he might pick up VP status, but it’s going to be Webb or other guy as they’ll have cross-party support.

DP: It won’t be any of these people.

TIG: Who else in the DNC wing?

DP: It’s gotta be that young gal in the house.  Swasserman?  Debra Schusterman?  Something like that.

TIG: I keep getting kicked off the internet.  It’s not frustrating at all.

DP: It’s a…a name that sounds like she’s from Long Island.

TIG: Motherfucking Comcast.  I gotta use this internet for work, motherfuckers.

DP: Hillary just laughed and it was a little like Emperor Palpetine.

TIG: I’m back to everyone applauding like crazy in standing ovation and Bernie and Hillary shaking hands.  What in Zod’s name is going on?

DP: Hillary refusing to respond about her emails.  People went ape-shit.

It was great.

She was asked, do you want to respond?  She just said, “No.”

TIG: I saw that with her not wanting to respond to something.  Then she shook Bernie’s hand?

O’Malley is OUT OF CONTROL.  I can’t help but to stand up and shout in a frenzy when I see him.  He’s so fucking charismatic!

…At least I think that’s O’Malley.

DP: A minute earlier, Bernie had said, “This isn’t good politics, but Hillary is right.  Stop talking about her emails!”

Then Hillary Emperor-Laughed.


“Good, good.”

Hillary just said, “There is something called, ‘shadow banking,’ that’s where the experts TELL ME the next collapse is coming from!” Such an old person fear.

Like a daytime TV ad.

TIG: Speaking of TV, I think I’m stable now…Yeah.

Bernie is right so far as banks go…


Changing the subject to climate change…an interesting tactic for Clinton.

DP: Hillary is going to win.  She’s so much more competent than any of the republicans.  And she comes across as such.  And when the economics come up, it’s such a no brainer.  Our economy is much better off now than in 2008, and all she has to say is, “I’ll continue that.”

TIG: Yeah…She’s an easier pitch to the country, but I’ll still say she’s too easy on the plutocrats.

And webb is sitting there making all the ladies we with trying to become a victim in front of everyone.

DP: In other news, Lamar Oden found unresponsive in Nevada brothel.  Whoa.

Chaffee is getting them wetter- “It was my first vote!  I didn’t know what I was doing!


TIG: Man…I don’t think people realize what a big issue college tuition is. I’m in there and the entire system is a huge house of cards that is completely unsustainable.

They’re focusing on the debt to students, which is bad too…But the whole financing system is completely fucked.

DP: I know Hillary is old.  But she’s looking okay tonight.

TIG: I was just masturbating to Chaffee.

DP: Obviously it’s better that I will be paying my school loans until I’m 57.

TIG: Also, it’s better that there’s a system where instructors have never been paid less, students have never paid more, and the universities spend a significant part of their resources on panhandling to recent grads for extra money on top of their student loans.

…AND as an extra-special benefit, we’ll be paying for school until we’re in our 60s. The public college system itself, I think, is much closer to collapse than people think.


DP: I don’t regret taking out all my loans. My education is amazing. I have a great job and I make OK money. But I’d be hundreds of dollars richer a month if I Didn’t have to pay my loans back.

I think anyone who has borrowed knows how fucked up it is.

TIG: Remember how much you got paid to teach? Like, under minimum wage? Students were paying a grip of money for that. The most exciting thing about free tuition, to me, is to refinance universities

DP: But I don’t think it’s really untenable. I mean, costs will go up, and debt will go up.

Qmusing: College system is untenable. Not sure what is going to happen to it. Rich people have no problems. Old people don’t care. Not sure how you get people interested enough to change system.

DP: Well, the student default rate is dropping. So as long as money can be made on loaning students money, why would this system stop?

I’m not saying it’s good, but I see no reason why education costs won’t continue to incrementally rise, and student debt won’t rise with it.

Qmusing: It is sort of a weird use tax really. Just another way of shifting the taxes downward. We can have sweet 15% capital gains rates because people are paying 7% on student loans for the rest of their lives

TIG: I think it’s going to have to inevitably change because the education is going to get increasingly worse at most state schools.

DP: Oh, totally.  And paying for basic education.  At the community college level, the majority of classes are for basic English and math, and the VAST majority never graduate with an associates or transfer to four year institution.

TIG: I’m probably too close to the problem to see it that clearly, but people are going to stop paying higher and higher costs for a worse and worse product.  I say this all the time, but 80% of the teachers are part-time adjuncts who have generally have other income streams.  I honestly don’t have time to do a good job on my classes.

And there’s the other component to it that the funding is mostly going to a bunch of business people sorting out the money and charging more for the favour of doing it.  The end result is just siphoning more and more money for less and less.  I just can’t imagine something like that can sustain for so long without an overhaul.

DP: Won’t it be like social security, though?  People have said for decades we have to overhaul it, but instead we see evolutionary changes, not revolutionary changes.


TIG: Maybe…Yeah.  But people worry more about things we’re internationally competitive in.  And school is a big part of that.  If people from abroad stop coming into our schools as much, there’s going to be some kind of hell to pay, don’t you think?

Qmusing: We will keep getting the rich from overseas and give scholarships to others. Not trying to be hopeless but it is going to be tough to get any change. People are in a place where we never want to pay for anything. If you are not willing to build a road, odds are you wont support school funding, and that is where we are.

TIG: I’m sort of amped that Cooper just threw that bullshit talking point under the bus there. “Some of the candidates have smoked marijuana…As has probably everyone in this room.”

DP: That was great.

You know, my favorite feature in my bathroom is not, as one might expect, the beard hair trimmings covering everything. No, it’s the flecks of blood all over the counter from my aggressive flossing after I eat popcorn.

TIG: Mine’s the hair.

Qmusing: I Have not watched any of the debate, but I feel sick anyway.

TIG: Low-ball question, “Who has been the enemies that you made?”

Wait…Oh shit…The To Catch a Predator transcripts are online.  Remember Tall Dreamy Doc?

DP: “I’m almost 14”

Process: I’m glad he got convicted.  He wasted a lot of money.  The fact he was searching for minors in chat rooms is so disgusting.

Anybody who ever does things like that should spend some time in prison and be labeled.  People who go out of their way to groom children and then ensures that their home alone and stops by to visit with condoms are definitely criminals.

TIG: I guess we’re done here.

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