With so much focus on today’s BIG FIGHT between Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Manny Pacquiao, I thought I’d take a minute to recognize another fight that’s going on. \u00a0The TRUE fight of the century. \u00a0It’s the fight between me and that goddamn bird that keeps waking me up at two o’clock in the goddamn morning.<\/p>\n
Hey bird- WTF?? \u00a0Why are you singing your song so loudly in the middle of the night? \u00a0Yeah, it’s a beautiful and complex song, I’m not denying that. \u00a0But newsflash- THERE ARE NO OTHER BIRDS THAT ARE AWAKE! \u00a0It doesn’t matter how many times you sing your song, no lady birds are leaving their roost to come have sex with you. \u00a0How do I know this? \u00a0Because you’ve been singing that song every night for two goddamn weeks with no success!! \u00a0Give it up!<\/p>\n
I can yell, I can throw things blindly into the darkness of the night…nothing stops you. \u00a0So look, I’m begging you: please stop. \u00a0The fight is over. \u00a0I’m throwing in the towel. \u00a0Just shut up and let me sleep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
With so much focus on today’s BIG FIGHT between Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Manny Pacquiao, I thought I’d take a minute to recognize another fight that’s going on. \u00a0The TRUE fight of the century. \u00a0It’s the fight between me and that goddamn bird that keeps waking me up at two o’clock in the goddamn morning. Hey bird- WTF?? \u00a0Why are…<\/p>\n